“Hey mom, you forgot my honey.” – Kid
“Hey- remind me tomorrow and I’ll fix it.” – Husband
“Hey mom, you forgot the orange juice.” – Kid
“Hey- remind me tomorrow and I’ll pay it.” – Me
Do you ever feel like parenting is a constant list of remind me, or did you remember? I can’t tell you how many notes I write down on an hourly basis throughout the day. Thank goodness for iPhones and the basic features that allow me to make it through life comfortably (definitely not an advertisement).
I’ve seen various mom blog posts that comment on the mental load mom’s carry between work, home, kids, schedules, calendars, pets, appointments, groceries, meals, etc. and it does get overwhelming. Thankfully I have a husband that shares the mental load- when I let him. Recently for example, I passed off the trading in and acquiring a new car- primarily for him to drive, but full disclosure I mentally checked out of that process. I recognized some limitations and I had zero patience to deal with price points, negotiations, or anything that goes into planning turning my car in to get something new and fuel efficient. He took that and the refinancing of our house process in strides and I’m excited to say we’ve made some considerable progress. Moral of that story- communication and trust go a long way when sharing the mental load.
Now, about that honey. It feels like every day becomes more of a multi-tasking Olympic event. How quickly can I make dinner, entertain the kids, keep the dogs from eating the snacks on the counter, pick up the toys around the house, put away their left over snacks, empty the dishwasher, load the dishwasher, don’t burn dinner, etc.- no, those tasks are not an exaggeration (I’m pretty good at evening multi-tasking). My daughter will often ask politely for various things, and if I’m in the middle of any of the above mentioned tasks I tend to ask her to wait a minute. Unfortunately, I often forget unless she reminds me… multiple times. Then, when she interrupts conversation, or tries to get my attention to remind me- she’s met with an irritated parent tone. Naturally, I feel bad because the poor girl just wants a spoon full of honey. Those are moments, subtle reminders to me to take a step back and slow down. It’s okay to leave a few toys on the floor a little longer, it’s okay to leave the dishes in the dishwasher until the morning. Do I like doing it? No, not at all. I want the house picked up and cleaned because I can only handle so much chaos. However, sometimes you just need to slow down. (Easier said than done of course.)
That’s what I’m hoping this next chapter will bring. More moments of memories and less reminders needed. There will always be task lists, alarms, and reminders. I don’t think I will ever really escape those. However, I am really looking forward to breakfast dance parties, taking our time to pack up for errands and generally not feeling rushed. So, when that time comes to pay a bill, print a document, fix something, or get my sweet and sassy daughter some honey- I can take a moment and do it. No reminder needed.